100 POINTS OF ADVICE

I like these. I missed on some of them but I still passed. Enjoy.

 

 

 

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  1. Rex Renard February 12, 2017 at 7:49 am #

    Good list. I’m bad about the not starting one, but when you live in a party town it’s hard not to.

  2. sharpiepen February 12, 2017 at 12:17 pm #

    Nice list and great advice.

    These are highlights for me.

    #18-guns are always loaded. I learned this at a young age and have lived by this ever since. Thanks to my dad, who taught me gun safety, and how to shoot. 🙂

    #36-not choosing your nickname. Yeah, I have some pretty interesting nicknames, and I have asked my family how they came up with these names, and their answer is “I don’t know.” lol oh well..it’s a good thing I like those nicknames. ^_-

    #88-no call before/after 9am/9pm was the golden rule in my house. Especially, the no calling after 9pm at my house. If you call at this time, you better be dead or dying.

    #46-making birthday special for both you and your mom. My mom tells me x amount of years ago, I gave birth you and remember that. haha I don’t forget and thank her for bringing me into this world and getting to drive her crazy all these years. 🙂

    Have a good one,

    Sharpiepen

    • Deacon February 12, 2017 at 1:01 pm #

      #18…..true story.

      Years ago I was forced through new government rules to take a firearms safety course. So a group of us (about 20) who have never met go to the course and we all walk in the room. There’s a blackboard and a table and on the table are a variety of weapons…long guns and handguns. There is no instructor (teacher) so we all grab a seat and wait. In walks the instructor who is maybe 20-25 years old if he is lucky. Nicely pressed uniform and wearing his belt with all the official tools of the trade including a 9mm and a belt with extra clip holder and a handcuff holder. He’s not a cop…..he’s an official with what we call here >>>>”The Ministry of Natural Resources”….which roughly translated means….’we’re going to tell you more about the woods and the streams and the ecosystem than all you people who spend a lot of time in it know while we’re sitting at a desk all day writing reports and drinking coffee’.

      So anyhow…..he comes in the room and introduces himself and he proceeds to teach us about guns (excuse me I need a drink)…..and then the first thing he does is pick up a shotgun and casually holding it >>>>>> HE POINTS IT AT THE CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      I’m serious…..he points the frikken barrel at the class. Students….some out for their first certificate…..their eyes become the size of dinner plates!!! Me…..I’m sitting up front near the coffee machine and instinctively I jump up and grab the barrel and push it up to the ceiling and then yank the shotgun out of his hands. I’m frikken livid by this point and I look at him and say “proof it first”. That’s a phrase which has different meanings but where I come from it means open the rifle or handgun and make sure it is not loaded …..but even then you NEVER point a gun at someone unless you plan to use it.

      So the class continued although there was a noticeable cloud over the room. At the end and having wrote the exam and passed, as I was leaving I noticed this young man standing near the door and I was expecting him to come over and jump on me for what I did. What he actually did was come over and apologize. I noticed another ‘official’ in uniform standing by a doorway further down the hall and I’m guessing he probably told the young man that an apology was in order. Done deal……forgotten about…..but I’ll bet he never does that again.

      • sharpiepen February 12, 2017 at 5:23 pm #

        0-0! What in the free world was that man thinking? Wait, he wasn’t thinking. I hope he doesn’t either.

  3. Deacon February 12, 2017 at 12:41 pm #

    May I take a few comments to the rules…..
    – “Don’t knock it till you try it”….I refuse on the grounds of hope for humanity that a) I would never want to try Trump’s mindset on other people and b) I would never, never want to be Kanye West. Did I say never?

    – “When entrusted with a secret…keep it”……unless unkeeping it will take time off your jail sentence.

    – “If you’re staying more than one night…unpack”……I say stay packed…..you never know when someone will bang on your door and you have to leave in a hurry.

    – “Never park in front of a bar”….can be taken two ways and it all depends on the condition of your car…..the worse the condition is the closer you can get to the front door.

    – “Keep a picture of your first fish, car and girl or boy friend”…..I was going to slightly disagree with this but it depends on how you look at it. The fish and car make you remember how proud you were…..the boy or girl friend makes you remember how you missed that bullet!

    – “Hold your heroes to a high standard”….true, but in this world it’s getting increasingly difficult. Not only are there fewer heroes, because people have lost more and more integrity….but dig far enough into anyone’s closet and there’s a skeleton there somewhere.

    – “A handshake beats an autograph”…..unless the autograph is rare and then it can fill a bank account.

    – “If you chose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short”….but stay classy.

    – “If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature” …..and if the page is blank…..rob a bank.

    – “When you’re travelling keep your wits about you no matter where you are”….and also keep a loaded 38 if at all possible and legal.

    – “If you have the right of way…take it”…..with the exception of confrontations with transport trucks, trains, angry bull elephants or someone holding a Kalashnikov.

    – “When you marry someone remember you marry their entire family”……no truer words!

    – “Never push someone off a dock”……nooooooo incorrect. Sometimes when you have to get rid of the body and the tide is going out…..it’s very effective.

    – “Don’t make a scene”….who wrote that one?…Trump? After the demonstrations around the world.

    – “Never gloat”……wellllll I’m not sure if the world ‘never’ applies. In 4 years when people who supported Trump finally come to their senses and sanity….a little gloating might by in order…..maybe just a tiny tiny bit…..because the rest of us bloody well deserve that moment!

    – “Don’t stare”……absolutely….especially in a bar full of ex-cons.

    – “Address everyone who carries a firearm professionally”……???….”please don’t shoot” would be sufficient…..as you’re running and always run in a zig zag formation which decreases your target worthyness by at least 75%.

    – “Stand up to bullies. You only have to do it once”…..and sometimes once will be the only time you do it….unless you’re good friends with the guy with the firearm above.

    – “Don’t lose your cool, especially at work”…..oh contraire!….work is often where you have to lose your cool…..especially if you’re walking out the door anyhow.

    – “There’s nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt”……absolutely!! Companies and organizations etc etc should be paying us to advertise for them.

    – “In college always sit near the front. You’ll stand out immediately and come grade time it will come in handy”…….especially if you are a well endowed young woman.

    – “Be patient with airport security they are just doing their job”……and some of them over-do their job and like it wayyyyyyy too much. If you get my drift.

    – “Always wear a bra to work”……WHAT! No no no no no …..what lowlife out to destroy the few joys in life wrote that one??!! One minute people are out there saying “be yourself, don’t let anyone tell you want to do, be proud of who you are, be proud of your body”…..then someone says ‘always wear a bra to work’!!! Oh the hypocrisy !!! If you got’em….flaunt e’m.

    – “Know the words to your national anthem”…….why is it that a majority of national anthems always seem one note and one cord away from a funeral march?

    – “Smile at strangers”…….that was taken from the ‘Serial Killers Handbook’.

    – “If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard”…..except…..if you’re going to punch first make sure there are no witnesses and if there are you need the ‘self defence’ concept, so make the other person make the move first. And add what my father taught me….’make sure they don’t get up for a second chance’.

    As you can see I was bored this morning. It’s snowing and slushy and the wife is doing bookwork for income tax so we can give money to the government so they can waste a major percentage of it and give millions to one business far far away that will not help 99.99999999 of the population elsewhere. So I thought I would type out this long boring reply.
    Time for another coffee.
    Have a good day,
    D

  4. Ja February 12, 2017 at 4:04 pm #

    Love it!
    Hang on and I’ll give you my fathers rules of forecasting (tho I think he got them elsewhere as well).

  5. Jeff P. February 12, 2017 at 4:52 pm #

    Great list. I wish everyone would follow these “Rules” and we would live in a pretty good world. Holding heroes to a high standard is very important in my book. One of the reasons that the Super Bowl this tear sucked for me. How can anyone have a hero who has admitted to and been proven to be a cheater? I just don’t understand how anyone could possibly look up to him. Yes, I’m talking about Tom Brady. Cheater and loser in my book.

  6. Rich February 13, 2017 at 5:56 am #

    I think I might get strange looks if I wear a bra to work. Even if I have moobs.

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